Take responsibility for your life

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March 4, 2021

Anyone who complains has not yet understood one thing: Everyone is responsible for their our own life. 

Do you ever find yourself tired and fed up with the whining and always complaining about other people, situations, or just life in general? If so, then this article is just for you

There is no better time than now to start taking responsibility for yourself. 

Take responsibility for what you take in through the 5 senses

Most people don’t pay attention to the types of people and environments that they surround themselves in.

The people and places that you spend the majority of your time eventually formulate the quality of your life and who you become, for example;  

  • The quality of the words you receive from other people (friends, family, and teachers) which contributes to your thinking and development.
  • The types of physical environments that you spend your time including home, work, and leisure time.

Our brains are a lot like a melting pot, and we throw all kinds of ingredients inside where it kind of simmers and cooks.

Every piece of information that we receive and take in through the five senses is like an ingredient that we toss into the pot. 

We are what we eat, and we are what we think.

What we take in from the outside is automatically processed and updated into our subconscious (this is why watching horror movies can give you nightmares). 

Choose very wisely who you surround yourself with, and spend your precious, finite time with, which programs you watch, which books and magazines you read, which websites you browse.

Personally, I try to receive as little new information as possible from outside, this includes no television, no books, no magazines, no surfing the Internet. 

Only when I have the impulse to learn something specific or to continue my education do I read a book, look at documentaries on the internet, or do research online.

Plus, it doesn’t benefit to be constantly bombarded with massive amounts of information (including social media).

We’re not machines, and we can only take in and process so much information.

And, we can only focus on one thing at a time, so it’s up to you whether it’s positive or negative information. I understand that we can’t always control or filter what comes into our lives in the form of images, words from people and environments, but most of us have much more control than we realize.

So what do I do the rest of the time?

In a nutshell;

Feel what it’s like to be alive in this very moment, perceive my immediate surroundings, reflect on life and the cosmos, meditate and become more clear about my life and what my goals, passion projects, and ambitions are, and continue to realize and actualize my full human potential.

However, what I do most of the time is just be. Just like a tree, river or lion does.

“Isness is my business” Robin Sunquiet

Take responsibility for your feelings

Pointing your finger at others and blaming them is one of the most popular ways to give up responsibility for yourself. 

Just because the other is doing something that stirs up certain feelings in me.

More than likely those feelings were already bundled up inside and that the other person stuck their finger into the open wound. 

You may have forgotten about the wound, didn’t even know it was there, and now it suddenly hurts again because the other person ruptured it.

“Sooner or later we all must face ourselves and deal with our shit”. 

Of course, there must be someone to blame for our situation and where we’re at.

It’s not really grown up, although almost all adults around the world do throughout their lives.

That is the reason why fights break out between family members, neighbors, and even conflicts between two countries, this can go on for years and even decades.

An extreme example is Hitler. He simply blamed the Jews for his frustration. 

Take responsibility for yourself instead of blaming others

But back to ourselves. We do that too, especially where many conflicts can arise: partnership, friendship, and between work colleagues.

Blaming other people is one of the biggest reasons relationships come to an unfortunate end and create a lot of tension in the workplace, as many of us know.

All because the ego makes it hard for people to own their shit, and take control of their own feelings, without purging them on to others – like the morning after a rough night out.

Emotions don’t go away with the rejection, they stay and crawl into your subconscious. 

Then they control you in all of your thoughs and actions without you being aware of it.

Instead, work on being present and really feeling and just observing the nature of the feelings within, and try to be more responsive vs reactive.

Become a master controller of your emotions. Imagine that you’re a wizard who has the power to make alchemy with your dense and dark emotions, and instead store them in the cauldron of your belly and refine them into love and compassion.

Radiate peace and harmony from your being, and project loving kindness from your eyes.

When there are feelings, just feel and observe them instead of suppressing them and rejecting them. 

Realize that every single emotion, feeling, sensation and thought is temporary and will eventually dissipate and fade away, many times in the next breath, and the more discipline and control that you begin to acquire through the art and practice of meditation.

Take responsibility for all feelings

Suppressed anger turns into resentment that is always latent in everything you give of yourself. This includes every word, every reaction, every decision, and every action. 

Whatever you project out into the world will just reflected back to you like a giant mirror from those you come in contact with, including rejection, exclusion, and bad luck, everything that can eventually trigger, reactivate and magnify the dark, negative emotions.

I can only change something if I accept it.

What a relief though, I no longer have to fight and struggle anymore.

So, if I want to feel real joy and real vitality again, I have to take care of all the feelings that may be there in me. I always need to nourish and tend to my mind, body, and soul every single day.

I only allow positivity to enter into my sphere of influence.

I am a modern-day spiritual warrior, and I strengthen my armor during meditation. 

Now that we are adults, we no longer need to be afraid of our own feelings. 

Not only will we survive, but we will thrive and get through this, life has already made sure of that. 

Take responsibility for your wishes and dreams

When it comes to your own desires and dreams, the common opinion is that you don’t deserve it yourself, that you are too small and not worthy of it. 

Many time we totally dismiss and disregard ourselves. 

Happiness and success are more for others, but not for us. 

What people have not yet fully realized that their life is exactly as it corresponds to their thoughts and feelings.

Years ago, I realized that each one of us is very much in control of our lives. Not completely of course, but what is in alignment with our true destiny. 

I always say “Yes, you can fulfill all your wishes, dreams, and inner most desires!” 

The only condition for this is that your wishes come from your heart and that you believe in them with every ounce of your being.

Recognize your dreams and take responsibility for them

Something always seems to go wrong when we glimpse our dreams and they start to come into our mind, where the ego dwells, which always wants this and that in order to be happy and content.

The ego has a way of “interfering” with things. 

When it comes to your true desires, “being mad” does not matter, it’s really about experiencing true Joie De Vivre. The moment is really what counts and the result and destination is secondary.

If we learn to be in tune and calibrate our true desires with the frequency of the present moment throughout life, we can fulfill any wish in our hearts. 

The time has come to get clear on what you really want to do, and get your ass moving. And, It’s not about getting everything by tomorrow evening, not at all.

Again and again, “I,” notice that the growth here on earth happens more slowly “earth time” than most of us realize.

By “I” I mean, of course, my ego again, which wants things to happen right now,  faster than they actually happen in real life.

Insta-success is an illusion, don’t be fulled by all the shiny lifestyle pictures.

The ego can be thought of as a whining child who has absolutely no patience and creates massive amounts of pain, suffering and dis-ease to ones life.

It does not, know the higher, universal laws of life in the universe and is oblivious to the energy that controls it, and moves the stars. 

The “I” is an illusion, and the absolute truth begins to emerge when we pause our thinking and surrender to the cosmic flow of life.

Life will always remind us of our heart’s deepest desires as often as it is necessary, the quest is to quiet the mind and listen intently to the heart.

Take your life into the palm of your own hands to devote yourself to what you really want in your heart. 

Take responsibility for your needs

In addition to the vital basic needs such as food, shelter, and warmth, many of us are driven by the need for “love”, intimacy and sex. 

We spend a lot of time and energy to get this need fulfilled from the outside.

And, we bring this unhealthy fear into our relationships professing that he/she will stay with and love us forever.

Of course, this is not true love because it has conditions, expectations and is not totally free to bloom.

We use other people’s bodies to make skin contact and can have sex with them. 

Pets are often nothing more than cuddly toys that have the purpose of covering up the loneliness and despair inside (I watched my mom do this for years).

Of course, this is not true intimacy and connectedness, because it’s rooted in unhealthy conditions and pretexts.

I’ve also looked for “love in all the wrong places”, outside of my own divinity,  and I was dismayed, disappointed, and rejected which added to the depletion of my confidence and self-worth. 

It was only when I discovered the wellspring of love and power within myself that eventually found people to love, and reciprocate that love back to me on the outside. The ladies fell in love with my style and swagger.

Self-love is the mojo

The primary difference was that I didn’t need this reassurance of love as much as I once craved, it just made my life more beautiful than it already was.

The solution is to unearth that love within, before looking aimlessly for it outside. 

No one is responsible for fulfilling our needs and desires.

Not even our partner’s when the need to have sex or to cook us a meal arises. 

Addicted people find a way to manipulatively force it this unhealthy craving onto people, places, and things.

Like an addict looking for the next fix, this cycle can go on for decades, I’ve seen this type of behavior dozens of times with family and friends.

The path of spirituality and truth is to let yourself become the feelings that you so deeply yearn for.

So when you feel the need for love, start loving yourself and the people around you.

Just because you’re then maybe in a relationship doesn’t mean that you no longer have a life of your own. 

In the past I found myself becoming too co-dependent on partners and lovers. 

This is not the way, because it’s binding and it’s not free.

For me, it was hard to recognize and accept this, many relationships had to fail because I had too many expectations of the woman, which of course they could never meet. 

It was challenging for me to focus on myself again, I asked myself:

  • What do I actually want?
  • What should I do now that I’m alone?
  • What are my desires and dreams in my heart?
  • What am I here to do in this world?

So if you are unhappy and dissatisfied, then the time has come to take responsibility for yourself and never wait for other people to resuce you.

Or wait for that all prevailing perfect moment that many wish for like blind faith. 

The right time is always now. 

Your thoughts and ego make up the world of illusion that is your comfort zone.

Life is now, don’t wait for your partner, guru, politicians, friends, or a savior,

Start taking responsibility for your life now. In small steps. Everything else is just an escape from reality and the truth of what is real.

If you want, you will find ways, If you don’t want to, you will find reasons and big pretexts.

Recap

Take responsibility for yourself and your life again, that is the mature thing to do. 

Understood that the search outside will lead you astray and hungry.

But we’re all human, and we aren’t perfect.

Sometimes we fall over and slip up. 

Just get back up, and roll with the punches.

The search is neverending and can be all-encompassing. It can show up in many areas of life: love, recognition, happiness, security, closeness, success, contentment, liveliness, enthusiasm, peace, silence, oneness, dininity.

We can each experience all of it, right now, because you and I are already all of that and more. 

It’s fogged up by the ego the grand illusion of Maya.

Know yourself and you will see the world with new eyes.

So we don’t have to sell our bodies or forsake our core values because we’re afraid of being alone. 

And, by vibrating from a place of scarcity and lack of, we will never attract the lover of our dreams.

Everyone can be as they want and develop at the pace that is right for them. Just know that you are the only person who can take full responsibility and ownership for your life. 

I now wish you a lot of fun exploring and shaping your life! 🙂

Do you have any questions about taking responsibility and ownership for yourself, and in your life?

Get my two free e-books, the first one - Create More Freedom In Your Life, will offer new insight to help you discover what you really want in life, and help you find your purpose in life.
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About the author


My name is Dale Hoskins. My intention is to help accompany you to develop your highest potential as a human being, and to fully express your true gifts in this world. This will lead to a more embodied and fulfilled life, that's characterized by love, joy and a deep sense of ease and peace, for you and for all other sentient beings.

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