We are all confident and even have the capacity to increase our self-esteem and how we feel and perceive ourselves.
Because, the infinite power of the universe is present inside all of us, including you and me.
It is only by growing up and the many different experiences that make us uncertain and unaware of ourselves. Society and the world around us make us forget the true nature of who we are.
But, as we grow old we forget our true nature.
In this article, I would like to share with you what true self-confidence means to me, how it is cultivated, and of course how you can rekindle this flame within you and use it to strengthen your horizon to ever new heights.
1. Recognize the Inner Critic
The largest part of us that obscures our self-esteem is the inner critic. It always has an opinion and something to say.
It’s the part of us that insults us and drags us down every opportunity that it gets.
We can never please it, but it’s important to understand that it’s nothing more than just a voice within us.
This critic, of course, has nothing to do with our true selves. He is just the voice of what wants to side-track us and keep our attention away from our divinity and true purpose.
If we listen to these destructive, negative voices, bit by bit, it will dismantle our happiness and peace of mind, make us feel insecure, and make us second guess ourselves, and disregard our intuition.
Those who want to strengthen their self-confidence have to perceive and accept everything that is inside with love and awareness, including all the old wounds, all the unwanted thoughts, and feelings, just accept it, observe, and then breathe into and release it.
2. Perceiving and accepting what is
By perceiving and accepting, means you no longer need to fight it with this monster critic anymore.
Because, when you fight with it, suppress it, you will ultimately keep it alive, because then you’re playing its game, just like an antagonist does.
The solution is you don’t have to do anything with all the things that keep you from your self-confidence and your self-confidence.
Just experience the cornucopia of feelings as they come. Give them space so that they can be, without rejecting.
Then just like in meditation, allow the negative, and unwanted thoughts and emotions to drift away and like clouds in the sky.
This is the starting point to build true self-esteem.
Allowing the inner critic’s negative Nancy thoughts to simply drift away, or flow down the river cleans the slate to implant the seeds of power that have always been inside you.
Just perceive the negative thoughts and then redirect your attention to the sensations in your body.
You can also try writing your thoughts down on paper or in a journal.
This can help you can free yourself from the negative thoughts that the inner critic is throwing at you. It’s like purging and getting it out of your system and removing it from the ether of your thoughts.
It helps you become aware of the thoughts you are having. You recognize the voice of your inner critic and begin to understand that all the thoughts and voices are in truth, not even you.
Over time you picked absorbed these thoughts and stories from the world around you including your parents, peers, teachers, and old outdated stories that no longer serve you or the collective psyche of the world.
If the thoughts, feelings, and emotions become too intense (like the point of becoming suicidal), then go to the forest and find an oak tree, or something similar, and dig a small hole next to the tree. It only needs to be one or two feet deep. Next, begin to yell and scream (and even vomit) into the hole and release all of your negativity. Then cover the hole back up with dirt. Nature and trees are able to absorb and remove the darkness from our lives because nature and all her beasts are still connected to the ancient, primordial state of being that we have forgotten.
3. Take care of emotional wounds
Everyone has the ability to feel more internal power, and experience a stronger sense of self-confidence, it’s accessible to everyone.
In my eyes, the best way to begin to expand and strengthen it is first to figure out and heal everything that is obscuring and getting in the way boosting confidence, in the form of unhealed emotional wounds and scars, self-destructive, disempowering inner voices, and thoughts within you.
Some experts recommend certain exercises in which you stand in front of a group and give a speech, receive applause, and thereby reap a sense of increased self-confidence.
And, I agree that small incremental wins are good and effective for increasing your confidence.
This can help, but the critic and the old wounds that remain can remain and can come back and rear their ugly head and be activated in various situations, which will indeed prevent you from growing and getting on with your life.
So I prefer to take care of myself right away. When I have filtered through the gunk and processed all the emotional baggage, the light of my true confidant, radiant, infinitely potential self shines right through me, and I feel more capable and confident in everyday situations.
I am beginning to understand that I really don’t have to do anything to increase my self-esteem and sense of self.
It’s always inside of me, always present in every part of me, and I just have to repair and heal the cuts and bruises.
For me, true self-confidence is not the thought “I feel confident, or I am great and I can do this or that”, but in truth – it’s not even a thought at all.
True strength is born before the mind thinks and processes thoughts, out of which I simply act according to my intuitive inner impulses that radiate power and awareness outward.
For example, many times when I am deep in meditation I get a surge of feeling the power of the universe emanating throughout my entire body and being, I feel one with all that is and ever was.
I find that the more that when I meditate consistently, the more that I am able to carry this sense of power with me wherever I go in life, and I can access it whenever I need to.
4. Realize the meaning of self-awareness
The word self-awareness consists of “self” and “awareness”. For me, it is the awareness of oneself from which self-confidence and self-assurance arise as if by themselves.
On this path of your inner awareness, you begin to understand that you are not your feelings, your voices, or even the thoughts in your head.
You are more than that. Something much bigger and infinitely more beautiful.
This deeper wisdom is inside you and in every other person on spaceship earth.
But this internal power can only shine through you if you do not identify with your thoughts and feelings.
So if you don’t believe what they’re thinking of you, and if you don’t get lost in your feelings and the train of thoughts (too long), then you can strengthen your power and boost confidence to new heights.
5. Make space for your emotions
When your darker feelings and emotions start to lurk around in your psyche and bubble up from your memory – it’s best to just observe them, and feel them for a moment, without trying to do anything about them, try your best not to resist them, nor judge, or criticizing them, just give them space to be.
Don’t try to do anything with them. Do not suppress. Do not think. Just allow.
Then start to become more aware of the present moment, feel the different parts of your body, one by one.
Just observe. Feel. Breathe. Then let go.
All the emotions, thoughts, feelings, and light and dense sensations will start to fade away, one by one.
Because everything in the known universe is constantly changing, moving, expanding, and growing.
This is the deeper wisdom that is gained and learned (on an experiential lever) during the practice of meditation.
Then, after the muckiness is cleared away, there is space for the more beautiful, euphoric feelings that will start to engulf you and transport you to new heights of joy and lightness.
But, even these more positive and vibrant feelings also come and go too, but that’s okay.
All you have to do is just look at your thoughts, witness them as a neutral observer. It’s not easy at first, but with consistent practice, it becomes easier in time.
If you want to develop more awareness and build true strength and inner power, know that it’s a path of self-transformation that requires dedication, courage, and discipline. It has to become a priority to you and you should strive to stay with it.
To practice observing your thoughts, I recommend that you learn meditation.
What’s your way of building self-esteem? Have you already been able to strengthen your self-confidence?