How to find and achieve your heart’s goals and be happier

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Last updated on February 22, 2021

Every year on New Year’s Eve, millions of people decide what they want to achieve in the following year. 

But why so many wishes just never come true? 

How about you? Are your goals, wishes, and desires in line with your heart or do they arise from the ego-mind in a more superficial way?

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could live a new year after chasing your wildest dreams? 

What would your life be like if you could balance your heart with your mind? 

Do you actually know what you really want your future to look like? Often we are too vague and wishy-washy with our goals and life purpose to be able to actually fulfill them. Or we feel that our dreams are too big to be realized and actualized.

Tips to help you achieve your goals and live more in alignment with your life

First of all, you need clarity about your wishes first and foremost. It’s important to allow yourself to know what you want. If that doesn’t work right away, make a list of things you no longer want that frustrate you. It’s often much easier for us to recognize what we no longer want. Here’s how it looks:

Make a list of things that you’re (already doing) that you like in you’re life that makes you happy.

Then make a list of everything that you’d (like to be doing) in your life, but you’re not.

Then make a list of everything that you’re currently doing in your life but you (don’t want to do anymore) – if it’s not in alignment with your ethics or core values,  isn’t congruent with your heart, and you would prefer to discontinue and stop.

On the following day either pick just one thing that you would like to start doing on the (wanna do list) or one thing from the (don’t wanna do list) and start or stop doing it until it sticks and becomes a natural part of your everyday life. Here’s a shortlist of how it could look;

  • I don’t want to drive 90 minutes to work in the morning
  • I no longer want to have lunch with my mother-in-law every Sunday
  • I don’t want to catch colds that often anymore
  • I don’t want to waste so much time on social media anymore
  • I don’t want to feel restless or indecisive anymore

In the second step, ask yourself what you can do to change that:

  • I’m looking for a new job / a new apartment to save time commuting
  • I distance myself from my mother-in-law and say NO
  • I take care of my health and regularly go to the gym, eat whole foods 
  • I turn off the computer before 9 p.m. and relax
  • In the summer I’ll be painting pictures in the garden because I enjoy it so much

This simple exercise trick will help you to identify points of frustration in your everyday life and to derive actions and goals that are important for you. 

Or ask yourself why you are often sick and how you can live a healthier more balanced life, filled with more creativity and more lively.

It’s questions like these that will help lead you to think about and implement real change.

Turning wishes and desires into goals

Another important step is to define specific goals and write them down. There is a certain magic in writing goals down. Suddenly it becomes concrete and direct, real and tangible. Goals need certain attributes so that we can check whether we are achieving them or not

  • You have to be specific.
  • Goals need a date and a place: When and where will I do walk, bike or hike?
  • Goals should motivate and attract you rather than frustrate and make you sleepy
  • Goals can be broken down into sub-goals.
  • Goals should be coordinated with your family and personal environment. (If you want to distance yourself more from your mother-in-law, for example, it would make sense to talk to your partner in advance.)

Transfer your goals to your calendar or yearly planner weekly google planner. 

This can help you gauge important milestones (live seminars, vacations, deadlines, etc.). Others like to work with collages, so-called vision boards, where they visually and emotionally charge their wishes and goals with the help of positive images.

How do you know if the desire comes from the heart or the ego?

Since we live in a performance-based, results-oriented society, we often harbor wishes that do not come from the heart. We are then aware of the comparison. We also want to earn as much money as…. We think we need further training or wee need to boost our self-confidence. We believe we have to go to yoga to lose weight and look better.

Ego desires often feel like they are under pressure, competitive thinking, ambitious goals, sometimes they are like an escape from an uncomfortable emotional state, for example, lack of self-worth, inner restlessness, the feeling of insignificance, and striving for recognition and belonging.

Heartfelt desires are often quieter, more intimate, and linked to the feeling of longing. For that, we need to tune in, turn on and drop inwards. 

We can learn again to listen to the subtle impulses of the heart by becoming still and turning to the vast inner world with a gentle touch.

A heartache puts you at the center of the vision. It is no longer about being better, faster, more successful than other people, but about the fulfillment of your dreams and the feeling of your vitality and so you can experience a genuine meaningfulness in your life.