Each and every one of us has the power and capacity to change. With small, micro efforts, day by day, moment by moment we can strive to improve the parts of ourselves that we don’t like and want to improve.
But we cannot change others? This is something we shouldn’t forget when dealing with toxic and negative people.
There are only two things we can do in the face of these types of people avoid them or face them directly.
Many people prefer to run away from toxic people, but when you have no choice but to deal with them, the best thing to do is to find a smart way to deal with them.
After all, toxic people always find a way to spread their negativity and pass it on to others, and ultimately create a bad environment and destroy the moment.
These people leave you drained and burned out as they’ve literally sucked the life energy out of your body like an energy vampire.
Toxic people like to be negative towards the people around them, but it is usually unconscious, and they don’t even realize it.
Others find satisfaction when they piss people off, because they’re aggravated, frustrated, and hate their own lives.
No matter how you look at it, toxic people create unnecessary complexity, create conflict, tension, headaches, and massive amounts of pain, suffering, and stress.
Use emotional intelligence to face toxic people
Studies have long shown that stress can create negative and irreversible effects on the brain (just think PTSD).
Even if it only lasts for a few days, exposure to stress affects the neurons in the hippocampus, an important area of the brain responsible for reason and memory.
Maybe you can recall a time when you were stressed out and you literally couldn’t think straight. And, there’s a reason why they recommend you to pull over when engaged in an argument.
Small bouts of stress arent’ the main culprit here, but the stress lasts for several weeks or months and drags out.
It essentially damages neuronal dendrites – they’re the small arm-like cells in the brain used to communicate and transfer information to and from each other.
If stress persists on for several months, it can permanently destroy these neurons in the brain.
Whether through negativity, cruelty, or discrimination , toxic people provoke a state of stress in the brains of others that requires intelligent emotional management to get rid of.
The key to smart, educated action when dealing with toxic people and party destroying behavior is that one should “cultivate” (I love that word) the ability to manage one’s emotions and remain calm under stress.
It’s essential to become a peaceful warrior and draw upon your arsenal of healing protection.
In fact, one of the primary qualities of people who can endure stress is their innate ability to neutralize and dissolve the effects of toxic people.
Ignore the toxic people who are looking for your attention
Toxic people don’t wear a badge of grumpiness. Yet we all know the people around us that are sources of conflict and discomfort.
We know the destruction they can cause. We know where they’re attacking us, and lurking around the corner, and sense that they will find you.
Sounds like a scary movie, right?
And, sometimes when they find you there, in this place, you know that you have lost your way.
If, for whatever reason, you cannot avoid this toxic person(s), try not to fall into their games and mind traps. Just simply ignore them.
No doubt, this person will try to get your attention, make smirky remarks, or glare at you out of the corner of their eye, he or she will do anything to try and provoke you (like pouring gasoline on a fire).
Don’t allow yourself to be confused, don’t let them come into your world.
Get the heck out of dodge, for the sake of your own sanity.
Do not let their actions, gestures, or interruptions, antagonize or insult you.
Be strong, be generous and stand firm in your truth and power.
Give them as little attention as possible. Bite your tongue if you have to so that their poisonous venom doesn’t affect you.
Be assertive when the time comes to stand up and set boundaries.
When the moment of conflict arises, just simply drop into your body and breathe deeply, focus on the breath and observe the sensations.
Refuse to adopt toxic behavior avoid contagion
The primary characteristic of anything toxic is that they are contagious. The same thing happens with toxic people, their attitudes are contagious, but they need a way to spread this infection.
If you react to toxic behavior, you have already gave in and lost the battle.
Even that negatively toxic person manages to press your ” guilty” button, all is not lost, there is still hope. It’s possible to keep calm in the presence of their worst poison, the inoculation of guilt.
The fact that it is possible and essential does not mean that it is easy to ignore and block out calls for attention from a toxic individual.
In fact, a general strategy used by toxic people is to ridicule their victims, talk down to them, belittle them, or any disempowering words or expressions.
It is important to keep the emotions under control, and just breathe through it.
On the other hand, maintaining an emotional distance and establishing healthy boundaries requires work and awareness.
You can’t always prevent someone from pushing your buttons, but when this happens, you need to overcome your fears and insecurities and find the strength to move on.
In a way, it’s better to ignore what is happening because it will make it easier to control your emotions by avoiding the confrontation in the first place.
There is another choice, however, set firm limits.
Set and defend your limits
An attack by a toxic individual does not undermine your own dignity and self-respect. In fact, your dignity can be attacked and ridiculed, but understand that you can never lose it unless you willfully give it up.
It’s not necessary to enter into arguments with a toxic person, but you do have to set very clear boundaries
Remember, when you get defensive, you show that you can be offended.
Once that happens they’ve stolen your power from you. So it’s extremely important to watch out for the intuitive signals your body is sending you when you start to get triggered by their attacks; one of the most common side effects of this poison is a shortness of breath and an increase in heart rate.
When this happens it’s especially important to breathe deeper to counteract the “Flight” response, and instead, breathe deeper like a peaceful warrior in the “Fight” response.
When you set boundaries, you make it clear that he or she cannot attack you.
When dealing with a toxic person, arguments and explanations are absolutely worthless.
All reasoning has gone out the window.
It’s important to be very alert and steadfast and to demand your authority over decisions about what you have the right and responsibility to be and do, make it very clear.
Remember, in order to set a limit, you must do so in a conscious and proactive manner, and adhere to it.
If you let things happen naturally and be a pushover, you will constantly get into difficult and uncomfortable situations.
If you set boundaries, you will be able to control most of the chaos caused by a toxic person.
Practice meaningful compassion
As we have seen, when dealing with a toxic person we can attack, defend, or simply ignore them.
But it is not always necessary to do any of this. Indeed, sometimes it makes sense to be kind to toxic people, and just send them loving energy that’s infused with kindness.
Perhaps they’re going through a difficult time in their lives because of an unfortunate situation that they are unable to handle maturely.
Unfortunately, toxic behavior is often a way of confronting a difficult personal situation.
It is clearly not appropriate or kind and loving for them to force others to cope with their pain and make everyone around them feel bad, it does not provide relief whatsoever, but magnifies the situation and destroys relations.
However, even if the toxic behavior that’s being directed at you isn’t always aggressive or hateful, doesn’t mean that you have to let it happen or accept it.
After all, we all have our own problems and our own demons to battle inside.
If you find yourself in such a situation, face it with compassion and forgiveness, and contemplate on how you can make future situations better.
It is important to set boundaries and not play their game and not worry too much about the other person’s attitude.
At the end of the day i’s nothing more than a reflection of their own pain and suffering.