How to nurture your feelings

April 1, 2020

How do you feel on a typical day? Is it joyful, loving, and grateful? 

Or do you feel more stress, fear, and feelings of depression that shape your everyday life?

Or is it more of a mix of lighter and darker feelings?

All of these feelings are normal. And the idea that you have to constantly go through life with positive feelings can add a lot of additional stress that is actually unnecessary. 

Everyone likes the good positive feelings like joy, love and all the forms of happiness, but what about the darker ones like deep heartache, despair and the many painful ones that get lodged inside the body and can seem like they’re stuck and can never come out?

Difficult feelings are just part of life 

Light and shadow are part of our lives. There are good times and bad times. 

Therefore, it’s important to remember to relax and accept such feelings: 

It is what it is.

You wanna try and avoid identifying with the critical mind who will alway find a reason to judge and criticize you and make you feel bad for having these feelings, whether they’re good or bad.

What to do about difficult feelings

1. First of all, ask yourself what it is that I feel? How do I feel inside and throughout my body? What types of feelings are arising and creeping up? And where can they be felt inside my body?  

2. Try not to evaluate and focus to long on the feeling if possible. I know it’s not easy. Many times you just wanna get rid of difficult and uncomfortable feelings as quickly as possible. But everything we fight and resist against gains more strength. Pressure can create more pressure. Therefore accepting is the best way to go through and process difficult feelings and emotions without repressing them. You probably know that only after crying that you can then laugh with all your heart and feel joy again.

3. It’s important to accept the darker feelings as part of yourself and who you are, and it’s possible to talk to someone about it or even write it down and express it on paper, this helps a lot. With this you relieve yourself, the feeling becomes manageable and it changes in the process. So you can accept the feeling more and more as part of who you are and at some point let it calm down and settle.

4. By dealing with and managing the many difficult feelings in this way, you start to grow and learn more about yourself. You start to become more complete and whole. Because enduring through difficult feelings and going through them reveals inner strength and personal maturity.

Let feelings be

However, this does not mean that if you accept them, you have to express such feelings to others or allow them to run your life. Because that can often cause unnecessary damage in relationships and your personal life. Remember that we are not at the mercy of our feelings, and they cannot control us unless we let them.

Anger can quickly turn into disappointment, then sadness, depair and then transition into a more calming state of serenity. Often the more balanced and neutral feelings do not come from the current occasion, but they slowly arise as a bridge from the dark to the light. Most triggers are often in the past. If we first accept our feelings, then let allow them to mature, we also protect and safeguard our sanity.

How does this actually work?

Allowing yourself to grow and mature means to endure and develop instead of just acting out. And then you can begin exploring what triggers certain feelings. 

If you find such a trigger for a feeling, you can deal with it instead of remaining in fear. 

When fear and anger involved, it can sometimes be better to let time pass. Try sleeping on it for a night. During sleep, we process difficult emotions and by the next morning many feelings have cooled down.

6 tips to lighten the mood

Beyond the difficult feelings that you experience from time to time, there’s a lot you can do a lot to experience brighter moods throughout your days. Lifestyle changes can also play a crucial role in dealing with bad feelings.

Here are a few important factors:

1. Movement

Try to walk and move about as much as you can throughout the course day, You can park further away from the door in the grocery store parking lot or the classic take the stairs instead of the elevator. 

It has been scientifically proven that exercise and movement like swimming and Yoga help to significantly boost your mood. Even people with the clinical picture of depression also benefit better from more movement throughout the day.


2. Balanced plant-based diet

There are many foods that have a beneficial effect on the body and mind. I always revert to simple, whole, unprocessed foods grown as close to nature as possible. A good rule to live by is if your grandparents couldn’t understand or pronounce the ingredient on the back of the nutrition label then stay away from it.

Aside from natural sources like fruit and berries and honey, it’s best to try and cut out as much white processed sugar and artificial sweeteners from your diet as well – this will also help get rid of the cravings for them and help recalibrate your taste buds can get used to – and only eat sugar, which occurs naturally in fruits and some vegetables. 

The best way to see this is by shopping for unprocessed groceries. Most processed foods now contain sugar in some form, it’s hidden almost everywhere, and often under different aliases such as glucose syrup. 

You may see that after a while your mood becomes more and more balanced and the tendency to depressive moods diminishes. This has also been scientifically proven.

3. Having connected and fulfilling relationships

A good life also consists of good nourishing relationships, it’s like food for the soul. While at the same time it’s important to steer clear of energy vampires and people who drain you and leave feeling depleted all the time.

4. Daylight

It is extremely important to spend enough time outside during the day hours. Some people use a therapy daylight lamp in the winter months, to absorb a daily dose of daylight. 

Keep in mind that deep darkness at night is just as important to reset your body’s clock. This helps the body to distinguish the day from the night and to release the appropriate hormones that ensure energy and a good mood throughout the day. 

You can create a dark environment at night with the help of blackout curtains or even a sleep mask, especially in cities with street lights it no longer gets dark at night.

And, why not unplug from it all and power down the phone, remove the TV from the bedroom and even unplug the wi-fi from the outlet. You can also use a grounding pad to ground to the earth’s natural rhythms.

5. Sleep

Getting enough sleep, around 8 hours, plays an very important role in health maintaining a good mood. There are many ways to promote deep restful sleep. Learn more about good sleep here

6. Mindfulness

Focused thinking instead of circles of thought can be mind-boggling.

Many people are lost in thought for a long time and hardly notice it. There are many ways to be more mindful and essentially “meditate in motion” such as being in nature, listening to and playing music, as well as pursuing creative work, writing and playing like a kid again.

Sometimes you just need to let go and be.

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About the author

My name is Dale Hoskins. My intention is to help accompany you to develop your highest potential as a human being, and to fully express your true gifts in this world. This will lead to a more embodied and fulfilled life, that's characterized by love, joy and a deep sense of ease and peace, for you and for all other sentient beings.

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